Dear Baby,
Please tell me how you are doing in there.
Tell me if you have a plan yet, for coming out.
Let me know if there's anything I can do,
Any encouragement I can give.
Dear Baby.
Please stop kicking me in my side,
Please get out of ribs.
Please don't head-butt my privates anymore.
Please, please, please, come out soon!
Dear Baby,
Please stop making me sick.
Please stop pushing against my bladder.
Please give me a sign that you're almost done baking.
And please, please don't get too big!
Dear Baby,
We love you so much!
We are so excited to finally meet you.
To call you Abigail or Ephraim,
and to hug and kiss you lots.
Dear Baby,
We want you very, very healthy.
We don't want you in NICU,
or to stay at the hospital when we go home.
But we don't want you in my tummy forever either!
Dear Baby,
I'll give you a few more weeks,
I'll let you cook a little bit longer.
But you need to understand my anxiety,
Try to grasp how uncomfortable I am.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
35 weeks down, 5 more to go
Two weeks until I'm considered full term.
Thank God!
These stupid pills make me sooo sick, and I just can feel my body preparing for labor. I'm getting all the symptoms that are listed for "pre labor". Of course, it could still be weeks before I give birth, but its nice to know that my body is doing something.
In other news, we finished the changing table, finally! I need to go down there and vacuum the floor and pick up the little odds-and-ends of things that don't have a place yet. And I think I want to rearrange the furniture, but these pills are draining my energy. They make me nauseous, give me headaches, and put me to sleep. Oh, and did I mention that they give you a metal-taste in your mouth? Yeah. Its wonderful, tastes like I'm drinking water from a tin can.
Five weeks... maybe only two.
I started making a play mat for the baby. Scratch that, I started sewing a play mat by hand. That's how bored I am. I don't have a sewing machine, and it feels good to sit on the couch and focus on something other than TV once in a while. Its actually pretty relaxing, and rewarding! I'm going to get the batting and start on the underside tomorrow. I think it'll turn out alright (although I bought a package of different cotton fabrics, and one of them has a butterfly print; so I hope we have a girl now).
Thank God!
These stupid pills make me sooo sick, and I just can feel my body preparing for labor. I'm getting all the symptoms that are listed for "pre labor". Of course, it could still be weeks before I give birth, but its nice to know that my body is doing something.
In other news, we finished the changing table, finally! I need to go down there and vacuum the floor and pick up the little odds-and-ends of things that don't have a place yet. And I think I want to rearrange the furniture, but these pills are draining my energy. They make me nauseous, give me headaches, and put me to sleep. Oh, and did I mention that they give you a metal-taste in your mouth? Yeah. Its wonderful, tastes like I'm drinking water from a tin can.
Five weeks... maybe only two.
I started making a play mat for the baby. Scratch that, I started sewing a play mat by hand. That's how bored I am. I don't have a sewing machine, and it feels good to sit on the couch and focus on something other than TV once in a while. Its actually pretty relaxing, and rewarding! I'm going to get the batting and start on the underside tomorrow. I think it'll turn out alright (although I bought a package of different cotton fabrics, and one of them has a butterfly print; so I hope we have a girl now).
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
I'm going to be a mom...
In six weeks or less I will be a parent, a mother. I'll finally be holding this little baby in my arms. I'll finally know if its a boy or a girl.
In three weeks I'll be considered full-term. I could really go anytime after that, and the baby would have very little health problems, if any. Doctor's only concern is lung development (not specifically for our baby, just in general lungs take the longest to develop).
Its a little hard to come to terms with the fact that pretty soon we'll actually be using all the new "stuff" in our house. We have constant reminders that I'm pregnant (I mean, besides my emotional meltdowns and constant complaining). There's a pack n play in our living room, a bassinet in our bedroom, baby clothes have all been washed and folded and organized (and reorganized, and reorganized). There's a whole shelf of baby bottles and breast milk storage containers in a cupboard in the kitchen, and baby books on the bookshelf. Some of this stuff has been here for a while, some of it we've grown used to seeing. But its all finally becoming real, like everything is slowly coming into focus.
I could, theoretically, have a baby any day now. God willing, it will wait at least four more weeks. I'm so done being pregnant, done being kicked in the ribs and jabbed in the sides and punched in the hoo-ha. I'm finished with the back pain, painful Braxton Hicks, and the constant itching. There are so many symptoms that just drive me nuts on a day-to-day basis, that I can't even list them all here. But as tired as I am of all of this, I'm still trying to enjoy it. I know that pretty soon it won't just be Matthew and I (and our two amazing dogs). Everything will change, our lifestyle will be turned upside-down. And as much as my body wants this baby out, I want it to be as healthy as humanly possible before it enters this world. I refuse to be selfish. I want to be a good mom. If that means suffering all forty long weeks, then so be it.
Did I mention I'm going to be a mom?
In three weeks I'll be considered full-term. I could really go anytime after that, and the baby would have very little health problems, if any. Doctor's only concern is lung development (not specifically for our baby, just in general lungs take the longest to develop).
Its a little hard to come to terms with the fact that pretty soon we'll actually be using all the new "stuff" in our house. We have constant reminders that I'm pregnant (I mean, besides my emotional meltdowns and constant complaining). There's a pack n play in our living room, a bassinet in our bedroom, baby clothes have all been washed and folded and organized (and reorganized, and reorganized). There's a whole shelf of baby bottles and breast milk storage containers in a cupboard in the kitchen, and baby books on the bookshelf. Some of this stuff has been here for a while, some of it we've grown used to seeing. But its all finally becoming real, like everything is slowly coming into focus.
I could, theoretically, have a baby any day now. God willing, it will wait at least four more weeks. I'm so done being pregnant, done being kicked in the ribs and jabbed in the sides and punched in the hoo-ha. I'm finished with the back pain, painful Braxton Hicks, and the constant itching. There are so many symptoms that just drive me nuts on a day-to-day basis, that I can't even list them all here. But as tired as I am of all of this, I'm still trying to enjoy it. I know that pretty soon it won't just be Matthew and I (and our two amazing dogs). Everything will change, our lifestyle will be turned upside-down. And as much as my body wants this baby out, I want it to be as healthy as humanly possible before it enters this world. I refuse to be selfish. I want to be a good mom. If that means suffering all forty long weeks, then so be it.
Did I mention I'm going to be a mom?
Thursday, August 12, 2010
33 weeks 2 days
Had a doctors appointment today. Nothing exciting, really... I'm measuring exactly on schedule, and baby's heartbeat is normal. I go back in two weeks and get my Strep B test, and then its every week after that.
I'm praying for time to pass quickly. I'm miserable now, to be honest. I cannot for the life of me get comfortable. If I stand up my ankles hurt, if I sit down the baby is up in my ribs, if I lay down I can't breathe from the pressure and my acid reflux acts up. I don't seem to have any appetite these past few days; I just feel light headed and tired all the time. I'm guzzling water to help, but so far no progress. I can't sleep at night, and the sleep that I do get is a restless type.
Seven weeks, I have seven weeks left. Four weeks until I'm considered "full term". I guess I'm in a complaining mood today... I've done all the organizing and nesting that I can do for now; at least until that part comes in so we can finish the changing table. I'm restless. I'm tired of being pregnant, and yet the end is in sight. Close, but so far away...
Prayers would be appreciated right now, I'm going to try and get comfortable on the couch now. :/ Wish me luck...
I'm praying for time to pass quickly. I'm miserable now, to be honest. I cannot for the life of me get comfortable. If I stand up my ankles hurt, if I sit down the baby is up in my ribs, if I lay down I can't breathe from the pressure and my acid reflux acts up. I don't seem to have any appetite these past few days; I just feel light headed and tired all the time. I'm guzzling water to help, but so far no progress. I can't sleep at night, and the sleep that I do get is a restless type.
Seven weeks, I have seven weeks left. Four weeks until I'm considered "full term". I guess I'm in a complaining mood today... I've done all the organizing and nesting that I can do for now; at least until that part comes in so we can finish the changing table. I'm restless. I'm tired of being pregnant, and yet the end is in sight. Close, but so far away...
Prayers would be appreciated right now, I'm going to try and get comfortable on the couch now. :/ Wish me luck...
Thursday, August 5, 2010
an update
I haven't blogged in, what, two weeks? It feels like months... but I'm still pregnant, so I know that's not the case. We have a little bit less than 8 weeks left of all this, by the way. Finally, I feel prepared. Well, as prepared as I can feel. My baby shower went so well; it was fun and relaxing and I now have almost everything I need. I decided to look over how much we've spent for the baby (just Matthew and I) and its around $500. Can you believe that?
$350 for the car seat/stroller combo
$30 for the diaper bag
$40 (ish) on baby clothes
$20 for the moby wrap
$10 for the boppy pillow
The crib and mattress were gifts from Matthew's parents.
The changing table, rocker, and bedding set were all gifts from my parents.
We had an extra dresser already.
The bassinet was given to us by Matthew's older brother, Josh.
The pack n' play was given to us by one of Matthew's supervisors.
We have a swing, bouncer and walker all coming used from my parents.
And another used papasan swing from my sister.
And actually, I think a THIRD swing from Matthew's parents.
My grandparents said they were getting us the highchair.
We were given diapers, books, clothes, blankets and towels from the baby shower. In addition to soaps, lotions, diaper cream, bottles, nipples, and toys galore. We are really so incredibly blessed.
The list of stuff we still need? I told you, I'm nesting, right? Because I am. I can now see everything we need, everything I need to clean and organize and redo before the baby arrives!
Sleep positioner
Mirror for the car
Water-proof mattress pad
Changing table covers/sheets
Breast pump
Bumbo seat (maybe that's a luxury)
Pacifiers (we didn't get any at the shower!)
Booties (I only have two pairs)
Hats (I only have one; that I made)
Burp cloths/spit up cloths (I think we got one package)
Bookcase
All things considered, those are minor things. Some of them we don't even really NEED. I think we'll end up spending another $150-$200 before the baby actually gets here. But I refuse to buy anything off that list until September. We pay our car insurance every six months, and it happens to be due at the end of August. Lovely, how those things happen.
In other news (now that I'm done making lists!) we used our WIC checks for the first time today. They are letting me get 2 1/2 gallons of soy milk every month. There's no WAY I can use that much, its crazy! Well, I think I'll start baking and cooking with the soy milk, so that the whole milk is JUST for Matthew to use as he wants. We are so blessed, God has been so good to us. Being on WIC is going to really save us in the long run, I had no idea.
I just can't seem to look at my life without feeling an overwhelming amount of thankfulness anymore. Being back in Grand Junction really gave me a lot of peace. God has us placed in Rapid City for a reason, and as much as I miss my family and friends, I know now without a doubt that we are not meant to be living in the Valley right now. I NEED to raise my children away from the family, I need to do this on my own. I've always been independent, and actually so has Matthew. I just know that what's best for us, and for this baby, is that we start this family with just us. I need to learn to step out of my comfort zone and really invest in this church, really invest in relationships other than my family. I need to build up a support system, its just something I have to learn.
With that being said, I am so incredibly thankful that I have the family that I was given. My mom is more than willing to come up here (and my sisters and dad too) and help me with anything and everything. And Matthew's parents have already offered to come up and help and meet the little one a few weeks after he/she arrives. I just know that if I ever need anything, there are so many people in my life that are so willing to do what they can.
Now we just continue to pray for a healthy and easy pregnancy. My next appointment is on the 12th, a Thursday. It'll be good to go in and double-check everything. I know I've only missed one appointment (while we were on vacation) but I just would like to hear the doctor say everything still looks perfect.
Alright, I'm off to crochet and watch Top Gear with my husband. We are so glad to be home, and have a few days to unwind. He's still being patient and kind, and encouraging. He takes such good care of me!
$350 for the car seat/stroller combo
$30 for the diaper bag
$40 (ish) on baby clothes
$20 for the moby wrap
$10 for the boppy pillow
The crib and mattress were gifts from Matthew's parents.
The changing table, rocker, and bedding set were all gifts from my parents.
We had an extra dresser already.
The bassinet was given to us by Matthew's older brother, Josh.
The pack n' play was given to us by one of Matthew's supervisors.
We have a swing, bouncer and walker all coming used from my parents.
And another used papasan swing from my sister.
And actually, I think a THIRD swing from Matthew's parents.
My grandparents said they were getting us the highchair.
We were given diapers, books, clothes, blankets and towels from the baby shower. In addition to soaps, lotions, diaper cream, bottles, nipples, and toys galore. We are really so incredibly blessed.
The list of stuff we still need? I told you, I'm nesting, right? Because I am. I can now see everything we need, everything I need to clean and organize and redo before the baby arrives!
Sleep positioner
Mirror for the car
Water-proof mattress pad
Changing table covers/sheets
Breast pump
Bumbo seat (maybe that's a luxury)
Pacifiers (we didn't get any at the shower!)
Booties (I only have two pairs)
Hats (I only have one; that I made)
Burp cloths/spit up cloths (I think we got one package)
Bookcase
All things considered, those are minor things. Some of them we don't even really NEED. I think we'll end up spending another $150-$200 before the baby actually gets here. But I refuse to buy anything off that list until September. We pay our car insurance every six months, and it happens to be due at the end of August. Lovely, how those things happen.
In other news (now that I'm done making lists!) we used our WIC checks for the first time today. They are letting me get 2 1/2 gallons of soy milk every month. There's no WAY I can use that much, its crazy! Well, I think I'll start baking and cooking with the soy milk, so that the whole milk is JUST for Matthew to use as he wants. We are so blessed, God has been so good to us. Being on WIC is going to really save us in the long run, I had no idea.
I just can't seem to look at my life without feeling an overwhelming amount of thankfulness anymore. Being back in Grand Junction really gave me a lot of peace. God has us placed in Rapid City for a reason, and as much as I miss my family and friends, I know now without a doubt that we are not meant to be living in the Valley right now. I NEED to raise my children away from the family, I need to do this on my own. I've always been independent, and actually so has Matthew. I just know that what's best for us, and for this baby, is that we start this family with just us. I need to learn to step out of my comfort zone and really invest in this church, really invest in relationships other than my family. I need to build up a support system, its just something I have to learn.
With that being said, I am so incredibly thankful that I have the family that I was given. My mom is more than willing to come up here (and my sisters and dad too) and help me with anything and everything. And Matthew's parents have already offered to come up and help and meet the little one a few weeks after he/she arrives. I just know that if I ever need anything, there are so many people in my life that are so willing to do what they can.
Now we just continue to pray for a healthy and easy pregnancy. My next appointment is on the 12th, a Thursday. It'll be good to go in and double-check everything. I know I've only missed one appointment (while we were on vacation) but I just would like to hear the doctor say everything still looks perfect.
Alright, I'm off to crochet and watch Top Gear with my husband. We are so glad to be home, and have a few days to unwind. He's still being patient and kind, and encouraging. He takes such good care of me!
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