Some days I feel like such a failure. My house is never clean, the laundry is never complete... There are dirty dishes, a floor that needs swept, a toilet that needs cleaned... There are meals to be cooked, a baby to be fed and played with and laid down for a nap... I feel overwhelmed. This is my responsibility, and sometimes when I look around I realize I'm doing a miserable job. I just need to regain my motivation.

In other news... I'm sewing up a few more purses for my store opening on Saturday. Hopefully they sell! All the proceeds are going toward families affected by the Joplin tornado.

Alright, now I have to go pick up the living room and maybe load the dishwasher... And put the laundry away... and fold Abby's clothes... and start a load of diapers... And vacuum the dining room... Oh Tuesdays!

EDITED TO ADD:
Here's the checklist of what's been done! Because I'm excited and need to brag somewhere!

• Master Bathroom cleaned (including the sink, toilet and countertop)
• Dishwasher loaded
• Kitchen counters cleaned and scrubbed
• Kitchen floor swept and mopped!
• Computer area cleaned up (and even vacuumed!)
• One load of laundry completed
• One load of diaper laundry in the washer
• Folded clean diapers
• Made a menu for the next two weeks (everyone knows how much time that takes!)
• And I even cleaned out my coupon binder

I feel accomplished. I feel like I did something today. And I was still able to play with Abigail! Maybe I can do this!

How Humbling A God

Today we went to get the oil changed in our car. And while waiting, we looked at new SUV's. I've been wanting to "look" and "price" and "compare" for a while now. Some part of me thinks I need a bigger vehicle (even though we don't yet). Anyway, I threw a little bit of a fit when Matthew informed me that "no" we wouldn't be buying a new car today. I threw a fit about it! I pouted.

And then I came home (still pouting) and read an article on CNN.com about three or four different families in Joplin, MO. I read about how they reacted, what they did, where they hid, what they salvaged and lost.

And then it hit me. Here I am begging for a new car, that we can barely afford, and that we don't need. And there are people, back home, who have lost everything. Literally. They have the clothes and on their back, and if they're lucky a few family and friends who survived as well. They are lucky to even be alive. Who am I to beg and plead for a new car? Who am I to ask for anything at this point? I feel disgusted with myself. There are people hurting, suffering, in my hometown. And I want a freaking car!

Thanks God, for opening my eyes. I feel the size of a pea, but my heart again has a burning passion for You, and for helping those in Joplin.

The Tornado of Joplin

Last night around 6:00 pm a tornado struck my hometown. I grew up here, my earliest memories are in this city. Needless to say, it hits close to home. I didn't sleep well last night because of this.

I have to say that so far everyone we know is safe. But it took out a good chunk of the main strip. The tornado itself was at least 1/2 mile wide, and ran along the ground for 6 miles. It tore up a hospital, schools, businesses (Wal-Mart, Home Depot, IHOP, etc) and homes. Please pray with me and my family as we mourn for our prior home.

I wish I could be there, I really do. If there was a way for me to be down there, I would be there in a heartbeat. My heart aches for you, Joplin. You are loved, and you are in my prayers. May God lift you up, comfort you, and reunite the families that are in panic and fear.

The Face of Fear

Usama is dead. And there is a lot of talk about it recently, so I thought I should sit down and share my opinion. I understand that there are people who are very offended that we're celebrating his death. "Death should not be celebrated", "he went to hell, how can we rejoice in that?" I understand these viewpoints, but I'm not sure I agree. I know that he is dead, and yes it is a tragedy. But honestly, how many lives have we saved by killing him? They were planning an attack for the 10th year anniversary of September 11th. More lives would have been lost. We've cleared the world of a powerful terrorist. And yes, I am sad that his soul was "wasted". But I don't believe anything would have saved him anyway! He hated us, with a deep and strong hatred.

Maybe I'm off here. I know that we're supposed to beat them with love. But there's also a time for war and a time for peace. They attacked us. They killed innocent people. They laughed in our faces and celebrated our sorrows. And you want us to just let him walk? Justice, people. God serves it in different forms. This week he served it through some very brave Navy SEALS. And a president, who after all this time, has finally done something right.

Baby Talk

Abby's started saying a few words. "Yum" came first, and she only uses it when she's eating foods that she likes. It always makes Matthew and I smile! And in the morning she says "hi!" to whoever gets her out of bed.

I think she's saying "mom" but Matthew is denying it. I think he wants to hear "dadda" first. So we're working on it.

I think its crazy that she's talking already though! I know she's vocal. But man, she doesn't even crawl yet. Geez. Time just needs to slow down a little.