Oh Christmas

I'm sitting in my house, with the heat turned way up, and bundled in my winter coat. Jafar is even curled up on his dog bed, trying to get a little warmer. The wind outside is blowing, very hard and very loud, and its sending snow flurries everywhere. There's a fresh sheet of white on the ground, and stuck to just about everything. It's strange to me: because of the wind and how cold it is, the snow will freeze to anything. Like the sides of stop signs, jutting out as proof that the wind blew it and it stuck while still moving. I mean there's literally snow and ice sticking off of the sides of poles, signs... anything vertical.

The governor has declared a state emergency, because of the storm blowing in. And through it all, Matthew is wishing he was home for the holidays. I do to, don't get me wrong, but he told me last night in bed. He just sighed and said "I wish home right now, for Christmas". The truth is, we both miss Colorado a LOT, and he hasn't seen his family since June. He's homesick, and its his first Christmas away from home. He misses the tons of cookies, constant bickering, wrestling on the living room floor, the smell of his mom's cooking, little kids running around and a good classic Holiday movie in the background.

I felt such guilt at first, that we couldn't go home. And that I couldn't recreate this scene for him. There will be no Settlers of Catan set up on the kitchen table this year, none of his mom's famous foods or desserts. We won't hear his dad read aloud from the Bible after a meal, or laugh at Josh's jokes. But I'm trying so hard to remind myself, and him, that this our chance to make our own traditions, our own routines, that our kids won't want to miss in the future.

Its hard because I know he wont be here for Christmas next year, and it makes it that much harder for us both. I'm putting on that smile, and enjoying the seasons I do have with him-despite what next year may bring. And through it all, even when he just wants to be in that old yellow living room with the too many books on the coffee table, and yarn strewn everywhere from people's recent crafts, he's happy. He's smiling, he's laughing and joking, and I know he's trying to make the best of this time too.

I guess I just am writing to remind myself why we're not at home. And why its a good thing that we're not. God is in control of this situation too, and He knows that this is what's best for us. To spend the Holidays ten hours away, with other single guys who can't go home. We're doing work here, and we're relying on each other much more because of the situation. So even when we're homesick, and tired of this stupid weather: God is faithful. He's here with His loving arms, and He's teaching us so many new things every day. To the point where I HAVE to feel blessed, even if I didn't the $600 camera, and we only had enough decorations to cover half the tree. That's what makes being a newlywed so much fun. That's why its an adventure in the first place.