Well, the past few days have been exhausting to say the least. I'm still working 8-hour shifts, and I feel hungry almost constantly. The baby is continually causing headaches and heartburn. And I'm STILL not sleeping normal. Oh well, its a little late now huh? I'm trying my hardest to keep a good attitude, but to be honest it already sucks. I just feel sick all the time, like I have the flu or something. But I don't. I'll keep these symptoms for the next seven months.
Matt went back on baby names too, he changed his mind. We're still sticking with the girl's name that we've had picked out for months. But we cannot decide on a baby boy name. We really want something biblical, but not something too hard to pronounce or spell. Ugh. We did pick out a travel set finally though, I really love the pattern, and even though it doesn't have an adjustable handle, I think its just about perfect. Ok I'm off to finish my bagel and warm up my car before work. :)
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
pregnancy feelings
I feel a little nauseous this morning, and I have headaches daily. Evening brings in the chest pain, or stomach cramps, or a great desire for some sleep. However: I did sleep all the way through the night tonight! Granted, I didn't fall asleep until after midnight, but still. I'm trying to keep a good attitude about this, I'm going to enjoy being pregnant. Even when none of my pants fit, my ankles are triple the normal size, and my belly is HUGE. This is a blessing, and I refuse to treat it as anything but.
Matt and I have picked out names, a nursery set, and made some pretty big choices. Breast feeding and disposable diapers are just a couple on that list. The pacifier thing is bothering me though... I have a mom telling me that there's no need for them, just use classical music and calm the baby down. But I've only taken care of babies with a binky! I'll do some more research today and try to man up enough to decide. I can just imagine how hard it will be for my parents and siblings to take care of a baby without a pacifier.
I can't decide on a stroller either. I want to use Graco, and I want a travel system. But beyond that... there's so many options! I'm also calling WIC today, because we're military we qualify. :) That will help out SO much. I'm also learning where to cut back; what not to buy for the baby. People tell me they hardly use their changing tables or infant baths. Crazy! I never knew... I would have bought both of those. Ok, so I'm probably still going to buy a changing table because I found one I LOVE that will store all of the changing-table needs. I'm going now...
Matt and I have picked out names, a nursery set, and made some pretty big choices. Breast feeding and disposable diapers are just a couple on that list. The pacifier thing is bothering me though... I have a mom telling me that there's no need for them, just use classical music and calm the baby down. But I've only taken care of babies with a binky! I'll do some more research today and try to man up enough to decide. I can just imagine how hard it will be for my parents and siblings to take care of a baby without a pacifier.
I can't decide on a stroller either. I want to use Graco, and I want a travel system. But beyond that... there's so many options! I'm also calling WIC today, because we're military we qualify. :) That will help out SO much. I'm also learning where to cut back; what not to buy for the baby. People tell me they hardly use their changing tables or infant baths. Crazy! I never knew... I would have bought both of those. Ok, so I'm probably still going to buy a changing table because I found one I LOVE that will store all of the changing-table needs. I'm going now...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
baby number one!
Well, I found out on January 19th at about 6:00a.m. that Matthew and I are going to be welcoming a new member of our family! From my calculations I'm due around September 25th. Now you should know that we weren't trying to have kids, as my husband deploys in June. But God has a bigger picture, and His plan is far better than mine (although I may not see it sometimes).
Basically I started having some bad stomach cramps, headaches, and getting sick all the time. The symptoms kind of came and went, and I thought maybe I was reacting to some of my medication. Then my breasts started getting really tender, and I thought "uh oh". I took the first test and it came out positive. I took another test that night just to double check, and it too came out positive. So I went into the clinic the next morning and their blood test also came back positive. It was true; I was pregnant.
All sorts of feelings are running through me. Fear, excitement, confusion, you name it and I feel it. My stomach is still cramping a little bit now and again, and I'm trying to eat consistently to keep the baby healthy. Suddenly my only priority is what's going on inside. I'm about five weeks along (which means the baby's heart is 3/4 of the way completed and has started beating!). Can you believe it? Its so surreal, I'm going to be a mom! I'm having trouble comprehending that, and believing that there's really something inside. Matt doesn't think my tummy has a bump yet, but I swear there's a teeny-tiny one. I'll start posting pictures every week so you can watch as I grow!
Matt doesn't want to find out what the sex of the baby is, which kind of worries me since its harder to plan for. But oh well; I'll do it for him. Ok, I'm going to go find some crackers and lay down after an 8 hour shift.
Basically I started having some bad stomach cramps, headaches, and getting sick all the time. The symptoms kind of came and went, and I thought maybe I was reacting to some of my medication. Then my breasts started getting really tender, and I thought "uh oh". I took the first test and it came out positive. I took another test that night just to double check, and it too came out positive. So I went into the clinic the next morning and their blood test also came back positive. It was true; I was pregnant.
All sorts of feelings are running through me. Fear, excitement, confusion, you name it and I feel it. My stomach is still cramping a little bit now and again, and I'm trying to eat consistently to keep the baby healthy. Suddenly my only priority is what's going on inside. I'm about five weeks along (which means the baby's heart is 3/4 of the way completed and has started beating!). Can you believe it? Its so surreal, I'm going to be a mom! I'm having trouble comprehending that, and believing that there's really something inside. Matt doesn't think my tummy has a bump yet, but I swear there's a teeny-tiny one. I'll start posting pictures every week so you can watch as I grow!
Matt doesn't want to find out what the sex of the baby is, which kind of worries me since its harder to plan for. But oh well; I'll do it for him. Ok, I'm going to go find some crackers and lay down after an 8 hour shift.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
me talking yet again
I'm trying hard not to be down this evening. Some pretty crappy stuff is going on at work, and I'm not really sure if this is the job God wants me in anymore. My stress levels are up really high, I'm having anxiety attacks, and I'm taking out my frustration on my husband. The bad situations at work are affecting my home life, and its not something I'm willing to sacrifice, even for Starbucks.
And then there's my lack of patience. Its so strong, I fight with it every day. That pull in my heart, and I have to keep reminding myself that now is not the time. And no matter how bad I want it, I can't make it the perfect time. So I keep waiting; crying out for time to go by faster, for my heart to be ok with this process. I just feel... hopeless. Like I'm not getting anywhere. I don't know... I'm going to go shower and take my supportive, loving husband to dinner. Thanks for my sad, confusing rants. I know this one was a little vague, I'm just not ready to talk about everything yet-even on here.
And then there's my lack of patience. Its so strong, I fight with it every day. That pull in my heart, and I have to keep reminding myself that now is not the time. And no matter how bad I want it, I can't make it the perfect time. So I keep waiting; crying out for time to go by faster, for my heart to be ok with this process. I just feel... hopeless. Like I'm not getting anywhere. I don't know... I'm going to go shower and take my supportive, loving husband to dinner. Thanks for my sad, confusing rants. I know this one was a little vague, I'm just not ready to talk about everything yet-even on here.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
another day, another post
So today has been fairly uneventful; I spent most of the morning and afternoon at work (it was very slow). And then I came home, took a shower, and we went out bowling for a dollar a piece. :) It was nice, I guess. Once again I was the only girl in a crowd of crude men.
Yesterday we got snowed in, so I missed a seven hour shift. We had four other guys over, and I was the only girl then too. They ate an entire loaf of bread, 18 eggs, 2 dozen muffins, 2 cases of capri sun, 2 pounds of uncooked spaghetti, and 2 jars of sauce. I know! Now we're out of food, and I'll have to go grocery shopping AGAIN. Honestly, I like the guys alright, but I can't afford to feed six or seven guys all the time.
I guess I'm just a little frustrated right now.. my husband committed to going bowling without asking me, and ended up skipping the first night of Bible Study, which was really important to me. And I just... I'm lonely. I don't know any females here, not any that I connect with anyway. I don't have a support group, no one my age, or going through the same things as me. I miss Colorado. I miss the lack of wind, the friends, the family, and the churches. I'm homesick: and I'm having a hard time being positive today. I'm going to go watch the Office with my husband, sorry my post is short (and sad).
Yesterday we got snowed in, so I missed a seven hour shift. We had four other guys over, and I was the only girl then too. They ate an entire loaf of bread, 18 eggs, 2 dozen muffins, 2 cases of capri sun, 2 pounds of uncooked spaghetti, and 2 jars of sauce. I know! Now we're out of food, and I'll have to go grocery shopping AGAIN. Honestly, I like the guys alright, but I can't afford to feed six or seven guys all the time.
I guess I'm just a little frustrated right now.. my husband committed to going bowling without asking me, and ended up skipping the first night of Bible Study, which was really important to me. And I just... I'm lonely. I don't know any females here, not any that I connect with anyway. I don't have a support group, no one my age, or going through the same things as me. I miss Colorado. I miss the lack of wind, the friends, the family, and the churches. I'm homesick: and I'm having a hard time being positive today. I'm going to go watch the Office with my husband, sorry my post is short (and sad).
Friday, January 1, 2010
The New Year
Today is January First, and I am watching Thank You For Smoking, and working on my current novel. I have about five loads of laundry that still needs done, and I just finished the grocery shopping. Now our freezer will barely close, the laundry line needs hung, and we have dinner plans tonight. I should probably get up here shortly to finish the housework that has been neglected for far too long.
But I want to talk. I want to think out the whole New Years Resolution thing. I'm not really one for it: because I know it hardly every works. An owner of a gym once told me that January was their busiest month of the year, when everyone thinks this will be the year they get in shape. By March all of the regulars are still there, and the new-year-resolutionists have gone back to their old bad habits. I don't want to be one of those, who fail with their resolutions within months. So instead, I just don't promise myself anything.
However, I do have goals. I want to be an even greater wife this year than I was before. I want to grow in my relationships: I want to be more encouraging and supportive. I want to be a positive person, despite the circumstances. I need to be strong and understanding and calm. I want to be happier, smarter, and more of that revolutionist. I want my relationship with my husband to grow stronger in the Lord, to fight less, and to have more compassion for one another. Understanding. I want more of that.
I'm goal oriented. I guess I'm just making goals for myself, and for us. Not just because its January first, and I don't expect these to be completed by December 31, 2010. I just want these things to get better. I don't know... I'm going to go back to my novel now, and put another load in.
But I want to talk. I want to think out the whole New Years Resolution thing. I'm not really one for it: because I know it hardly every works. An owner of a gym once told me that January was their busiest month of the year, when everyone thinks this will be the year they get in shape. By March all of the regulars are still there, and the new-year-resolutionists have gone back to their old bad habits. I don't want to be one of those, who fail with their resolutions within months. So instead, I just don't promise myself anything.
However, I do have goals. I want to be an even greater wife this year than I was before. I want to grow in my relationships: I want to be more encouraging and supportive. I want to be a positive person, despite the circumstances. I need to be strong and understanding and calm. I want to be happier, smarter, and more of that revolutionist. I want my relationship with my husband to grow stronger in the Lord, to fight less, and to have more compassion for one another. Understanding. I want more of that.
I'm goal oriented. I guess I'm just making goals for myself, and for us. Not just because its January first, and I don't expect these to be completed by December 31, 2010. I just want these things to get better. I don't know... I'm going to go back to my novel now, and put another load in.
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