Where has all the time gone?

Abigail Renee is over nine-months old now. How does that even happen?
She weighed 15lbs 12oz at her doctor's appointment last week. As usual, everything checks out perfectly normal, and we were sent home with smiles. No shots even!

We have been so blessed with a healthy, strong, smart baby. She's tiny, but she's beautiful. She makes us laugh every day. And now she's actively crawling, pulling herself up, and cruising around the furniture. She absolutely adores being outside (just like her father) and we take her swimming 4-5 times a week. She likes to swing at the park across the street, and sit in the grass to watch the leaves shake on the trees. She's starting to really pay attention to music, and even tries to dance along some days. She's also finally learned to use a sippy cup! Its one with a straw, but at least it's not a bottle. I gave her some lemonade today in it, and she sucked it right down!

She feeds herself like an old pro, shoveling cereal, bread, puffs, anything she can get her hands on, into her mouth. I have to watch her really close, or else she'll pick up random things off the floor and try to eat them too. Especially my fabric scraps. What a crazy little girl!

Abby is amazing. She watches one episode of Go Diego Go, and always smiles at the songs. She's always reaching for mommy's glasses (and daddy's chest hair!) she just wants to explore everything she can. And we try to let her. Her favorite food right now is macaroni and cheese, she would probably eat it every day if we let her!

We show her pictures of the family all the time, I point out grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. And she loves to play with any toys musical. I have to thank Grandma Storey for giving her that dang rabbit. Its super loud, but she can't get enough of it.

Yes, we're blessed. And excited to watch her grow and develop. But sometimes after we've brushed her two (yes, two!) teeth and put her to bed, Matthew and I sit in the living room and wonder how time has gone so quickly. I swear it was yesterday that we were waiting anxiously at the hospital, watching MTV and guessing what she'd look like. And now here we are, already planning her birthday, and boxing up clothes she's long outgrown. We watch her learn and grow and move and its the biggest blessing ever. But with it comes that little twinge of pain, that we'll never get this time back. She'll never be that little again, and she'll never be this little again either. I'm reminded of how precious time is, how precious she is. How I want her to see the world, and learn everything she wants. We adore it. She's the light of our life, she's what we live for each day. She's the reason we get up, go to work, cook dinner, clean, do laundry, everything. She's our whole world, and I wouldn't trade any of this for anything.

...Now that I've just written a whole book, I think I'll go finish sewing another dress. If you read that whole thing, thank you! We love you, and we appreciate all your support and prayers and encouragement.

I'm Here To Unload

I'm done. Some days I just hate the Air Force. I hate that Matthew is treated like crap for no good reason, except that his shop chief hates him. That's it. That's the only reason. He's being thrown under the bus for the simple fact that some stupid Master Sergent can't stand my husband.

My husband goes to work at least 15 minutes early. Every day. And he leaves late on average about 3 days a week. And he's an A1C! Its ridiculous! This man has no respect for my husband, our family, or our religion. He's a class-A jerkwad. My husband has very, very little paperwork, he's never been arrested, no DUIs, no Article-15's, no trouble with the law... He hasn't even had a ticket in almost 3 years! But STILL this man throws Matthew under the bus. He doesn't care that this is our future, our life, that he's dealing with. As long as he can climb that career ladder, he's happy.

The jerk.

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll Move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve, I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you

I found God today. I don't even know what to write, but I feel like I should say something. He is here, by my side, in my heart. In everything I do, everywhere I go, He is there.

I feel myself drowning some days. I feel a failure in so many ways. I feel myself drifting away. I'm not happy, I'm not at peace.

I found God today. In the middle of my heartache, chaos, and struggle. There He is. A beacon, a light in the darkest of times. He's always been there. I've been ignoring the call, but He is there. A constant. The only constant, it seems.

So here is my heart, God. Here is my life, here is my struggle, my hurt, my fear.

In You there's life everlasting
In You there's freedom for my soul,
In You there's joy, unending joy
and I will follow

For the first time in months I feel that freedom.