Abigail is already a month old. I don't even know how that's possible! I swear, it was just yesterday that I was holding her in my arms for the very first time, staring into this stranger's face and seeing my whole world change.
She's doing wonderful, just so you know. Eating, sleeping, doing all the normal baby stuff. She holds her head up so well now! And she tries to roll over when she's on her tummy; I expect her to go all the way in a few weeks... She's still a petite little girl, I think she'll be built like mommy her whole life. I love it though. And she's smiling! Last night Matthew and I were talking to her, and she was dozing off but still giving us little sideways smirks. It was so cool to see her respond to us with facial expressions.
Grandma and Grandpa Storey got to come visit her for a couple days. It was good to see them, but it sure makes my husband homesick! I feel the same way when my family leaves us; that intense desire to just be back home with them. But we'll be home in about 4 weeks for Thanksgiving, which is pretty dang exciting.
The breastfeeding thing has failed considerably. I'm now exclusively pumping, and very proud of it! She gets formula at night, but I'm hoping that tonight will be the last time we supplement. She's still getting mostly breast milk, and even if I can't pump for the next year (which is my goal), I know that being fed breast milk for her first month of life is still a great thing. Its still much better than all formula, and I'm glad to work extra hard to make sure she's healthy. The pumping thing is hard... I have to pump about 10 times a day, and its hard to find time for it! Its not like you can hold a baby while doing it... so I have to wait until she's asleep. But sometimes she wakes up and I have to stop and go back to it later. Its frustrating sometimes, and exhausting. Especially when I have to get up in the middle of the night (after Abigail eats) and spend 30-40 minutes sitting upstairs. But again, so worth it. I'm really hoping I can up my supply just a little bit more, and will be able to start freezing some milk. Crossing my fingers, and praying that God keeps my supply up. It is a little crazy that even as Abigail begins to eat more, my body automatically produces more milk, even though she isn't at the breast asking for more.
She's really learned how to control her tongue today too! She plays with it all the time, sticking it in and out and opening and closing her mouth. Its so cute! I love watching her learn new things, and take in everything. She absorbs everything she sees and hears, and I love it! Its so amazing be able to watch first hand as she discovers something new. She really likes to look out or big window in the living room. There are trees right outside that are changing colors, and always moving a little with the breeze. Abigail discovered the mobile on her swing for the first time today too. She thought that was pretty cool!
I have such high hopes for her, so many plans for her future... I want to make at least some of her baby food, and the desire of my heart is to home school now. How can you not want to teach your children everything yourself? How can you not want to watch them get something for the first time? I don't want to miss out on anything!
Keep up the prayers. Being a mom is the best thing in the world, but also very tiring and emotional sometimes. Matthew is still such a HUGE help. Just today he came home for lunch and spent the whole time watching and taking care of her while I pumped, ate, and nursed my headache. He always gets up in the night when I ask him to, which isn't very often because I know he has to get up early for P.T. and work.
I can't get over how beautiful, and utterly perfect she is. I just can't believe it... I'm a parent now. And its the greatest feeling in the world. I know that this wasn't planned, and I was so scared and overwhelmed when I found out I was expecting. But now? God never gives us more than we can handle. He blessed us with the perfect first child. We're the perfect parents for her, and she's the perfect daughter for us. I really plan to live up to my part of this; I want to be as great a mother as my mom was. I want her to feel like she can come to me with anything, I want her to want to come to me when anything new in her life happens. My mom is one of my best friends, and I hope some day that little Abby Ren can say the same thing.
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