another poem... random and disorganized.

You know some days I actually almost miss you.
Some days I look at your pictures and remember how we used to be.
And then I laugh at myself.
I force myself to remember what you put me through,
Remember exactly what you did to me.
And then I just almost feel bad for you,
And at the same time I hope that you're happy.
Its so funny how at the time I thought so differently.
I swore up and down we were meant for each other.
And I think we both believed that a little bit.
Maybe I did more than you, but belief none the less.

And now I just look at where I am now,
And who I am now.
I'm so thankful God yanked you way from me.
So thankful you left me in the dust.
I swallowed all those tears long ago,
And the aching in my heart is no more.
Now I just feel that overwhelming sense of love
For my husband and this baby we're having together.
I guess I just never thought I'd get over you.
Although you moved on long ago.

I'm proud of who I am and where I am.
I'm proud I'm not your girlfriend or wife.
I look at my life now and I'm overwhelmed with God.
I'm overwhelmed with how He saved me from that lifestyle
That I almost chose to have with you.
Its funny how much things change,
How much we've changed.

You're a part of my past that I won't ever forget.
A part of my testimony that is key to who I am.
But I thank my Savior every day
That you're name is not written in my future,
Nor in my heart anymore.
I don't write to say goodbye, but just to say thanks.
And not even to you, but to my Lord.