This week has been crazy, insane, overwhelming. We've got a new puppy in the house, my stomach is getting bigger and bigger with every day, and my time with my husband is rapidly closing in on us. I'm worried and stressed, I feel the weight of everything on my shoulders and I'm reacting to it in the wrong ways. So today, here I sit, listening to some random artist that my sister was talking about. Turns out they're really good, of course, and its helping to calm my nerves. I want to drop everything today and run after God with everything in me. I don't want to live in the now, I don't want to focus on everything going wrong, I just want to worship and praise and love. I want to be whole again.
I have a chance, now, to change who I am, to change who I will be. To change the mother I am rapidly becoming. I want to take that chance, I want to jump off that cliff and on this band wagon and just go with it. I'm so done being ashamed, being embarrassed, and being quiet about what I believe. I've been quiet for way too long already. I miss my passion, my drive, I miss having that fire lit under me. I know that I don't have any chances for a missions trip or a Christian retreat to re-light what I've lost. I have to do it on my own this time. No holds barred, I'm letting go and moving on. I'm stepping forward for the first time in a long time, not just for me, but for my husband and for my baby.
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